I don't mean to post something emo. I haven't in a while, and I'm not likely to do so every again.
I know this is just whining, but let me say something. I'm not a normal person. Normal people move on, fall in love again, explore other opportunities...I don't know.
5 years ago I was abandoned by the love of my life, and it never gets better. It was a forbidden love, and impossible, but I'm probably going to wait forever, never falling in love again. I haven't in 5 years. I don't like who I've become, and it's not normal, but I wasn't normal to begin with, so don't ask me to be something I'm not, because I am not a crowd pleaser. I figure this is why I'm so lonely, but that's something I'm ok with. I believe true love never dies and I'm willing to wait forever.
Sure I've done great things with my life, especially over the last year. I got my first degrees, still got one year left 'till I get my bachelors degree, became a student senator and became student senator of the year due to my active nature, and I also became a successful business owner. I'm also going to start that shirt thing (no, I have not forgotten, just building capital), started drawing again (I never really stopped, but I'm more inspired...I guess), and I have a TON of projects I'm planning to bring into fruition. I have not abandoned my desire to live. I'm not giving up. But please respect the fact that this ache will never go away. There's no fixing a broken heart. Maybe there is, but not this one. If 5 years won't cure it, 10 won't. I would have preferred to be sick with FA again and to have gone through this heartbreak, because there's nothing more painful than losing someone you love. Worst part is, they're still alive. So I have to wait. Forever if I have to. Rant over.
On the upside...the toy databases are gonna get updates tonight if I'm sober enough to pull those off.